Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
