I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
