I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
