He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
