He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
