well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
