I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize