we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
