This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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