You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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