Me too!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Im part way to drunk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
