It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize