it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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