READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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