I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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