I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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