Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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