were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
