Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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