How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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