what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
