Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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