i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
PANTIES FOUND
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