I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
