he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
