So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
