remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize