Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out. http://tfl.nu/jzw3
  Replies (19) Good night (772) Bad night (4438)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier. http://tfl.nu/mu3y
  Replies (36) Good night (1361) Bad night (7493)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him? http://tfl.nu/bxd1
  Replies (24) Good night (1860) Bad night (5176)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (2787)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat
  Replies (8) Good night (1456) Bad night (3679)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/gp7l
  Replies (7) Good night (2577) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pbex
  Replies (12) Good night (1167) Bad night (2686)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/2zc2
  Replies (5) Good night (2624) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose http://tfl.nu/d8zc
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro http://tfl.nu/kq10
  Replies (24) Good night (4305) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/fh7u
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd. http://tfl.nu/inv3
  Replies (8) Good night (633) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year. http://tfl.nu/ildj
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  School starts next week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET. (720): School starts next week http://tfl.nu/1ml3
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (307)

Randomize