When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.