He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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