I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
