I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.