I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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