i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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