Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
