We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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