ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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