You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
