i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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