my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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