Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
