Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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