Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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