I don't usually arrange sex via text message
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
