i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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