I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize