im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
