god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
