So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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