Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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