I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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