She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize