yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm passing your future prison.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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