I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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