Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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