Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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