they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
