Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.