It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?