I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.