Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year