me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.