If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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