Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need moral support for this bender
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
